Expectations

I just wrote my entire blog post, and then it got deleted as I was trying to save it, so I guess the Lord wanted me to write about something else!

By the end of today, my time in Cambodia will be done. I came in with many expectations even if I didn’t realize. I put these boxes on God, and expected Him to work in ways that I thought were best, but I’ve seen firsthand that God knows best. Even when I get mad at Him, and don’t understand, I still have this unexplainable peace deeply rooted in the midst of a sea of negative emotions. In many ways God has surpassed my expectations. My team is one thousand times greater than I ever imagined and they love so well and have made this trip so fun and joyful. They are awakened to the Gospel, they have a holy fire burning inside them! During training camp, for some reason, I expected not to have a very close friendship with my squad leader, and she has quickly become one of my closest friends on this trip. I know Clarah and I will be friends for life after this, God sees my heart and He knew I needed a friend like her. (YAY CLARAH I LOVE CLARAH)
I expected to have a good birthday, but God surpassed my expectations and when I turned 20 on Sunday, it was the best birthday I have ever had! My team absolutely flooded me with pure love! So much thoughtfulness and fun went into every minute of the day, and all day I was blanketed with His gentle and abundant love. Here’s a photo of Clarah and one from my birthday!

 

There are more examples, but I share all these things to say that I know God will continue to surpass my expectations in the situations ahead that I’m not happy about.
We found out last week that one team will be split up from the group in Thailand, and after much prayer it was decided that my team would be going. I am devastated to be split from my friends that I’ve grown so close to over the last month. I also will not be working with the ministries I thought I would be, and will be living in a school doing kids ministry again. Most of you reading this know that kids ministry is not a passion of mine, but the Lord has been working on my heart to show me the importance of kids ministry and that what I’m doing is not less important than what the other teams will be doing. Please pray that the Lord would continue to encourage me in my disappointment and that I will be able to be fully present and devoted to the ministry I’ll be starting Wednesday. 

Please also pray that the Holy Spirit would fill me up with a supernatural boldness. Since before I left, the Lord has been showing me that on this trip I will have to do things and pray prayers that require more boldness than I’ve ever had before and I want to be prepared for whatever the Lord has in store for me.

Photos from our trip to Angkor wat, a monkey jumped on my back!

(also on a funny but slightly serious note pls pray that I will be able to tolerate the spicy food in Thailand, I’m eating some French fries that are spicy right now and my nose is running and eyes are watering but I’m pretty sure it’s just pepper on them😭)

This is pretty much all I have to say right now, this has been a week of really hard goodbyes and the hardest will come early tomorrow morning when our teams split. I love you all and appreciate your prayers more than you know. I feel them every day. I’ll leave you with some photos and I will see you all in just 30 days!

A couple kids from the school I worked at in Cambodia❤️ 

I love everyone on the other team, but here are a few people that I got photos with this week! Sweet Sarah, she is the youngest one here, but man she is so wise and a wonderful friend to have! Ian and I twinning on my birthday! I will miss cracking up about the dumbest things and then talking about deeply spiritual things in the same breath with him! And miss Slisa (nickname from one of the kids) Alisa is a joy and makes everyone around her feel so seen and loved. I would love to sit here and tell you how amazing every single person on H-squad is, but I’ll stop here and I’ll be writing them each letters instead. (If you know me, you know how much I love a good hand-written letter🤭) I love you all!